THE VIRTUES OF SHYNESS.

If you have met our little daughter, Aubrey, you know that she is quiet by nature. Some call her shy. Others say she is reserved. Almost everyone notices that she is a woman of few words when in unfamiliar situations.

“Oh, she won’t even make eye contact with me,” remarked one boisterous lady at the grocery store. “That must be so hard for her.” And last year, one of Aubrey’s typically loud second-grade classmates even boldly declared that she would help to “fix Aubrey’s 
shyness problem.”

My wife, Jackie, and I witness firsthand these moments of anxiety that our daughter experiences when meeting new people or when faced with changing environments. While we both have a somewhat relaxed and easygoing approach to life, Aubrey is much more of a look-before-you-leap type, calculating the pros and cons of virtually every action. Yes, it is sometimes a challenge for her and us, but while we have always acknowledged this introverted side of our daughter, we have never looked at it as a weakness.

We have discovered that Aubrey’s “shyness” trait is less of a flaw, and more a part of her personality. A personality that is filled with wit, wisdom, empathy, and an enthusiasm for life. A personality that has driven her to excel in school and virtually everything she attempts. In some ways, Aubrey is the perfect reflection of the old adage “still waters run deep.”

Thankfully, there are others in her life that understand. She is surrounded by an extended family that is constantly amazed by her wise-beyond-her-years perception of life and advanced sense of humor. She was blessed to encounter a first-grade teacher (who is also now her third-grade teacher) that “met Aubrey where she is”, never taking a cookie-cutter approach to teaching Aubrey and never pushing her to be outgoing or someone she is not – giving our daughter every opportunity to build her confidence and grow at her own pace.

And grow she has. This year alone, she has campaigned to become class president, volunteered to be a student greeter, and participated in her first horse show (her greatest love) just to name a few. I always tell Jackie that Aubrey is further proof to me that God exists – while we are her parents, Aubrey is already her own unique person. A sweet and sage spirit that is truly one of a kind.

We live in an age when the loudest are often the only ones listened to, rowdiness and misbehavior are rewarded, and obnoxious impatience is seen as a virtue. When people tell us to hang in there and Aubrey will someday come out of her shell (they mean well, of course), I secretly bristle. I look at her and think that she is already in a very good place . . . a place where she is supposed to be. A place that I often envy.

Yes, like my son who came before her, Aubrey has been a blessing since the day she was born. And, the more I look around me, I think the world could use a few more Aubreys – and a lot more shyness.